I’m not a brave writer. In fact, I usually don’t tell people that I write. It’s scary, because if I do, suddenly expectations come into the equation. Or people start asking questions about what I write.
In writing, I do not write brave. I put off posts I need to write, and leave drafts unattended for months because working on them could actually mean submitting them somewhere today, and that feels overwhelming.
When I do talk about writing, I often downplay. Here in this place, my blog…it’s definitely not high traffic. And I’m okay with that because it’s less scary to hit “publish” when I know few people are reading it. In this, my smallness can be a blessing.
But even so, I tend to err on the side of “safe” when I write. I avoid certain topics, either because I don’t want to deal with opposition, or because I don’t want to deal with exploring and exposing certain parts of myself when it comes to certain topics. Topics like being single, writing, my church history, and all sorts of other things.
This whole 31 Days series is a perfect example of this. I planned to write “31 Days of Living Tiny”, knowing I’d be moving to my tiny house around October and really experiencing the change of living tiny. It was a safe topic, one I was excited to write and one which wouldn’t leave me too vulnerable in front of my small band of readers. I had the graphic made and everything, and had even told people about it.
And then the Lord kept laying “31 Days of Living Brave” on my heart. I ignored it for about a month (so brave, right?) before finally saying, “Oh, FINE!”. (Basically) And the more I’ve written on this topic of living brave, the more I’ve learned about how brave I’m not. Yeah, I’ve been brave before, but the more I write, the more I realize I don’t write brave.
A few weeks ago, I swallowed my fears and visions of failure and submitted two pieces for publishing, one on a website and one in a book. It terrifies me, and I don’t even want to admit it. But that moment of bravery? When I clicked “submit”? I felt this thrill of courage well up, along with hope.
I didn’t think I would necessarily see these submissions accepted. And if not, it’s fine. That’s life as a writer. But as scary as it was, being brave felt good. It felt right. And it proved to me that it wasn’t as hard as I expected. And so the next time I decide to submit something, I know it will be the tiniest bit easier, because the courage is there and knows what to do.
But today, you can head on over to (in)courage and read a post about what it has meant to find a community and journey through life together. This was one of the first times I felt brave enough to submit something to another website, and I feel immensely blessed to be one of their guest writers today.
I don’t really write brave, but each time I make the tiniest brave decision, it makes the next brave decision a little easier. And it will do the same for you.
Don’t be afraid to be brave in the small moments, because it will allow to find courage in the big moments as well. And remember-just because it’s a small moment doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
[bctt tweet=”Because your bravery always matters.”]
This post is part of my #write31days series for 2015: Living Brave. Each day in October, I will be posting about living brave and what that looks like in everyday life. Curious about 31 Days? Check out the website and the hundreds of other bloggers joining in this year: 31 Days.