This spring, I was reading my way through “Let’s All Be Brave ” by Annie F. Downs. It was being talked about by many bloggers and received impressive reviews, and I praised God when I found out my local library had it. I consumed the book, clinging to Annie’s brilliant wit and beautiful honesty.
And it messed me up.
In the midst of reading this, the Bridge started mentioning a trip to Cambodia. Information sessions happened and the call for applications went out. And the conversation between me, God, and my logical self went a little like this.
God: *nudge nudge*
Me: Huh? Sorry, didn’t catch that.
God: Ahem. Cambodia…
Me: Yeah, yeah. I know the Bridge does cool things there. Maybe someday I’ll go…
God: Like now.
God: Girl, what are you reading? Just be brave and agree to go! You think I can’t figure out how to make it all work out? I got this! Just swallow your pride and your fears and send that application in!
Me: But…but…I’m buying and house and don’t have the vacation time and don’t know how to do all. the. things. and….
You can imagine this went on for awhile, until I sent the application in, swallowing my fears of not being “good enough” or “skilled enough” and such. Let’s all be brave, right?
And then the hits started coming. Medical bills from 9 months ago, unplanned expenses, and things going ridiculously wrong in the house I just bought. I spent hours and hours worrying and waffling and considering dropping out of the trip because it just didn’t seem like the right time.
And I realized, I can’t do this on my own.
But God can.
We’re going to serve, and do all the things other groups don’t want to do. We’ll spend just over a week in Battambang, Cambodia, at the Youth With a Mission center through the University of the Nations.
Our job description isn’t set in stone, but we will go there to love on kids, love on teens, and love on the people of Battambang in general. Our small group of six people be working and learning alongside people who love God in a predominately Buddhist nation. We hope to encourage people who face spiritual opposition on a daily basis, and share Christ’s love with every person we meet. We’ll likely be helping in the English school, or volunteering at the clinic. There might be some physical labor to do, and perhaps even a chance to share my passion for gardening.
This time, in the midst of committing to staying, brave meant “go”. It sounds counter-intuitive, right? I’ve been writing this month how God has been calling me to stay, and yet tomorrow I go.
Not for good. Sometimes brave means we need to stay. But sometimes brave means go. And when we get that call, we need to jump head first. Full in. Without waffling or worrying about how it will all come together. Or if we’re qualified, whatever that means.
[bctt tweet=”When brave means go, we go. We let God worry about the details.”]
Just the same as when brave means stay.
I humbly urge you to pray for our team. I know I’m not the only one who has been under spiritual attack since we agreed to go, and I know we all need prayer. So for the next 10 days, will you pray for us? You can sign up on the 24 hour prayer list here, and set an alarm to pray at a specific time of day.
This post is part of my #write31days series for 2015: Living Brave. Each day in October, I will be posting about living brave and what that looks like in everyday life. Curious about 31 Days? Check out the website and the hundreds of other bloggers joining in this year: 31 Days.