I recently read The Chase by Kyle and Kelsey Kupecky, and though it was filled with many great truths about how we need to chase God more than a significant other, I was overall disappointed. This book is geared towards young women, preteen to teenage, and looking at it from the perspective of someone who is a little older, there are definitely a few holes. However, the overall message of the book is fantastic, and one that girls need to hear more.
The premise of the book is that rather than chasing for the perfect relationship, girls need to chase after the perfect God. I say girls because though this book could be used by older women, and was written by a couple, it is definitely focused on the actions and interactions of young women. It talks to girls, and affirms messages of staying strong in God, not lowering standards, and resisting the temptations of the world. These are all messages young Christian girls need to hear!
My main issue with The Chase is that it almost presents a formula for girls to follow to receive their perfect man. It feels more instructional than encouraging, and highlights the stories of many women who did things wrong and would up without a man, along with many who did things right, and found Mr. Right. But that doesn’t happen to everyone.
But the biggest problem I have is that it doesn’t even consider the fact that some women do not get married, even if it’s the deepest desire of their heart. Rather than mentioning that possibility, the Kupeckys just write about giving it more time and making sure women are doing the right things. It’s almost as if women who remain single are doing something wrong.
And honestly, as a 26 year old single lady who would love nothing more than to get married and start a family, that hurts. And beyond hurting, it affirms the messages I hear frequently from society that my life is in hiatus, and that I must not be doing something right. And if I am, there is clearly something wrong with me and I don’t measure up as a “real” woman.
There are many redeeming qualities of this book, but I would hesitate to recommend it because I think girls need to hear the message that if Prince Charming never comes along, that doesn’t mean they are making poor choices, or that something is wrong with them. Rather, we need to be teaching women that no matter their relationship status, they can rest assured that God has great plans, and no mistakes were made in their creation. Sometimes God calls people to a life of singleness, and it’s not because they lack something. It’s because He is using them for something.
I would have to think hard before recommending this to someone, especially younger girls, because it is so one dimensional. I think it has many great truths that young women need to hear, but girls hear too often that they aren’t ____ enough. This book, while attempting to pour love and truth into girls, lacks depth and just doesn’t address the never-married people. I’m not sure I could recommend it knowing that ten years down the line, a young women would be questioning themselves, having read this book and having lived out the truths, only to still remain single.
We need to build up all our young women, not just the ones who find themselves in a relationship. And building them up isn’t telling them to simply wait, because one day their prince will come. That’s the message given in this book, and I just can’t get behind it 100%, because that day doesn’t come for every women.