Faith · Intentional Living · One Word 2015

Rediscovered Joy

Valentine’s Day…a day full of love and joy for couples to share, and a time to be intentionally together in a very busy world.

And a time for singles to reflect on the realities of being single.

I’ve struggled a lot with being single this past year. When I lived abroad, I was content in my singleness. I was doing something I loved, impacting people I cared about, and I was far removed from the numerous weddings and baby showers back home. Now that I’ve returned to the US, it’s obvious that I’m in a very different place in my life than most of my friends.

Jen Kay Photography 2014
Jen Kay Photography 2014

And it’s hard.

I hear those comments of “well, one day your prince will come,” or “just wait until you’re a mother, then you’ll understand.” And “who knows, you might meet your future husband today!” And though these words are often offered as encouragement, they end up being crushing. Defeating. Humiliating.

A reminder that to many in the world, my life is in hiatus.

That once I find “my man”, everything will return to normal and I’ll be able to live like everyone else. As the days, weeks, months tick by, I keep hearing these reminders of “you’re not there yet, but someday you will be.”

And it pulls me down, friends.

Because my life isn’t in hiatus. It isn’t incomplete. 

Millions of women around the world never marry and never have children. Does that invalidate my womanhood? Does that make me feel inferior?

Some days, yes. Completely. But it shouldn’t.

rediscover joy

And so, yesterday I rediscovered something I hadn’t seen in a while. Something I didn’t think I’d see again for a long time.

I rediscovered joy in my singleness. I rediscovered the fact that I’m not in a period of waiting for an elusive future husband to show up.

[Tweet “I rediscovered that my life is full and deserves to be lived with joy, no matter my marital status.”]

I’m in a period of living. Simply living.

Zinnias

And I’m embracing it again.

[Tweet “I’m not accepting the “woe-is-me” message given by singles on Valentine’s Day. I’m clinging to joy.”]

I know I am loved by the Creator.

Come what may, my marital status doesn’t impact my ability to fully embrace life. It doesn’t impact my ability to cling to joy. And it doesn’t diminish me. It’s simply a part of who I am.

-Jen

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One thought on “Rediscovered Joy

  1. I love this, “my marital status doesn’t impact my ability to fully embrace life.” I think I attended 7 weddings in the past 2 years alone. And at every single one, someone has felt the need to comment on my singleness from “Are you dating yet?” to “Have you tried online dating?” and “They’re leaving you behind.” That one stung. Waiting to me isn’t waiting for a man, but for God’s next move. I follow Him, not the other way around. And as I follow God, I’m living. Found your post through the 31 Days Faith FB group 🙂 Oh, and we have the same blog theme! Just the pink & green are switched.

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