africa · Faith · Intentional Living

Five Minute Friday: Close

Friday’s mean Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo and the wonderful #fmfparty crew. If you’re new to this, it’s a time when hundreds of writers gather together to write on a common prompt-five minutes only, no editing, no planning. And then we find community and encourage each other. Want in on the action? Look no further than Lisa-Jo Baker’s blog!

Meanwhile, read my take on tonight’s prompt: Close.

Go.

Close could be taken two different ways: nearness or the opposite of open. One word, but two entirely different meanings. Tonight I’m writing on the second.

Last December, God closed a door in my life. It was a pretty big door. Not a screen door, that I could peer through and hear what’s happening on the other side. A big, heavy, oak door that seems impenetrable.

closed door
Another closed door.

When I found myself back on American soil again, I mourned the life I lost in Africa and the opportunities that would never come to fruition. But I knew that journey was over, and that there would be no going back. So I began to pick up the pieces and create a new normal, praying all the while that God would show me where He wants me.

He both has and hasn’t. I’ve got a job, a car, and an apartment. Small doors are opening, but there’s one that is still firmly held closed: my God-Sized Dream door. Like peering through a stained-glass window, I’ve seen blurry and tinted glimpses of what He has planned for me. But at the same time, I’m pretty clueless.

So I’m trusting. God has opened many doors since He closed my South African one in December. And I enjoy where I am now. But at the same time, I know He’s holding the God-Sized door closed for now, waiting for the right season of my life to throw it wide open and walk through it with me, holding my hand the whole time.

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.

Keep on seeking, and you will find.

Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

Matthew 7:7

In the meantime, I will seek Him.Β <–Click to Tweet

Stop.

Jen

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20 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Close

  1. Sometimes I wonder if God keeps those doors closed firmly because He’s hard at work on the other side and can’t wait for the perfect timing to reveal it to us πŸ™‚

  2. I totally agree with Crystal: God has something amazing planned for you, far beyond your wildest dreams. Can’t wait to see what he does!

    And I’m glad I’m not the only one who took the second meaning of the prompt for today’s word. πŸ™‚

    1. That’s both scary and encouraging. πŸ™‚ From what He has shown me of my God-Sized Dream….it’s terrifyingly huge. I’ve no idea how someone like myself could possibly do the smallest of things related to it. I feel so woefully inadequate. But I’m praying and trusting Him with it.

      And don’t worry, you’re never alone when it comes to taking alternate meanings of a word! πŸ™‚

    1. Some days, I just want to find a crowbar and pry the door open (as if I’d make a dent in that God-Sized door). Other days, I’m a little glad it’s shut, because I enjoy being where I am, and I’m a little afraid of what He might ask me to do.

      At any rate, for now I am praying and seeking Him.

  3. Waiting behind closed doors is never easy (whether it’s a bathroom door or a God-sized dream door). But maybe he wants you to learn the lesson of patience and blind faith (and it sounds like you are learning that as you wait). May God continue to make his presence known as he prepares his plans for you or prepares you for his plans :)!

  4. I’m counting on what Crystal said about God’s working on the other side of the door! I believe it and am eagerly anticipating what will be down the road. In the meantime, I’ll sit next to you while we wait for the doors to open, Jen!

  5. The waiting really is the hardest part, yes? But we know He has great plans and many wide open doors in your future! Stopping by from Lisa Jo’s today! Praying for His timing in swinging your God-Sized Dream open and ushering you in to whatever is next!

    1. Yes! Waiting IS hard. I know in my head that He’s having me wait for a reason (some of them very practical reasons). But being in this transition/waiting period just isn’t easy.

      Thanks for stopping by Karrilee!

  6. Ah!! It is sooo hard when we want to serve Him and those doors just close. I have been working with my kids to memorize “Not my will, but yours be done”- I have it memorized, but I am working to truly BREATHE it out, ya know? To really mean it, when those doors are shut and I am heartbroken. But right now, I am living on the other side of the door- it feels like it has taken so long to get here- but now I can clearly see the reasons for the doors that were shut (and the ones that were slammed!) and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
    So, I look forward to rejoicing with you when those doors OPEN!!

    1. Thank you Becky! I will work just like your kids to memorize then live out that verse. I don’t do well with uncertainty, but I am certain God has my future in His hands. If I can remember that, I will be able to handle this waiting period. Thank you for the encouragement!

  7. Sometimes it feels as though the waiting is a real weight about you as you try to be faithful and live in the right now…even when you know there is something bigger going on. Other times I have shelved the whole thing as not being a part of the bigger plan, just to have God eventually bring my mind back to what I have shelved.

    Sometimes the only thing I know for sure is that I indeed know nothing. And yet I surrender fully and say to God, show me your will. It is so hard…especially when you know that God is working and you can only see the smallest part of things. I am so with you on this one.

    1. Uh huh, friend! So much truth! πŸ™‚ I am also part of the I-Know-Nothing club! But He knows it all, and that must be enough for me now.

  8. The waiting to find out what is next is so hard. You said it so concisely…

    “He’s holding the God-Sized door closed for now, waiting for the right season of my life to throw it wide open and walk through it with me, holding my hand the whole time”

    I am in a season of waiting too, of a different kind, but also hard. Blessings as you Wait on Him.

    1. Hi! Thanks for stopping by….that’s one thing I love about FMF-each response is unique, and there are so many different facets of any given prompt!

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