Today’s Valentine’s Day, and I won’t be going out on a romantic dinner, getting and flowers or chocolates, or spending any time with my significant other. Primarily because I don’t have a significant other. Once again I find myself single on Valentine’s Day, though I’m quite used to it by now. Every single Valentine’s, I’ve been single…for my whole 25 years. In fact, I’ve never actually been on a date (gasp!).
At one point, a few years ago, this started to bother me a lot. What was wrong with me? I mean, all my friends seemed to be in serious relationships, some of them were even getting engaged or married. But me? Nope. I started to wonder what was wrong with me, why nobody wanted to be with me.
Until I realized that nothing is wrong with me. God wants me here, where I am, at this point in my life. I can’t quite tell you why this is, but I’ve learned to enjoy being single. Beyond that, I’ve learned more about God’s love, and how much He wants to be with me, everyday, every step of the way.
There’s a lot of unspoken pressure in our society to start “settling down” around my age. I’m only 25, but many of my friends are either married (possibly with kids) or on the path to being married soon. Being single long-term is an anomaly. It’s really easy to internalize that pressure and start to feel insufficient and out of the loop. It’s easy to start feeling bad about the situation.
But I have faith that God has a plan for me, and this period of being single is part of it. I’ve certainly grown a LOT in the past few years, and have experienced many things that I likely wouldn’t have experienced if I was in a relationship. That’s not to say that being single is “better” than being in a relationship…but for me it has been. It’s where I need to be.
A lot of women say they are waiting for the right guy to come around, but I don’t. I’m not waiting. This is my life right now, and I refuse to feel like I’m missing out on something, or waiting for something to happen. It could be that I never get married, and I won’t allow society to make me feel like a failure or an outsider.
It’s hard though. We are constantly inundated with the idea that growing up and being a complete person involves marriage and a family. Movies, books, facebook photos, tweets, newspaper announcements, mom blogs, songs on the radio…reminders of that same message.
But not everyone gets married, and If that’s my lot, I’m fine with it. It’s taken time and digging into myself and trusting in the Lord, but I finally realized that I’m fine with being single. I am thoroughly content. Maybe I’m in the middle of a single season, admittedly a long one. Maybe I’m going to be in this single season for a long time yet, or permanently. Maybe I’ll meet Mr. Right tomorrow. I don’t know. But God does, and I’m trusting in His plan. In the meantime, there’s a life to live, and I want to live in the present, not let time pass me by while I’m waiting for something better.
So, I don’t have any plans for this Valentine’s Day, but that’s alright with me! I’ll be spending time with family, talking with my friends, surrounded by love of a whole different sort….knowing that God’s love for me is immeasurable and unconditional.