Faith · Trust

Affirmation

Sometimes I wonder if I’m really following the path the Lord has planned for me. My life has changed so much over the past few years, that sometimes it’s hard to believe how much my goals and plans have changed, and I pray that the Lord is behind those changes. When I joined the Peace Corps, I realized I had no clue what I wanted to do, or what the Lord wanted me to do (besides join the Peace Corps)! I trusted when He told me “Go,” and followed what seemed like an unconventional and difficult path for a Christian. I have continued to pray for discernment and guidance from the Lord, and sometimes He opens my eyes and leaves me laughing because He makes things so clear.

I created this blog last January, I believe, after a smack upside the head from the Lord during a morning walk to school that left me crying in awe of His love. I didn’t use it for the longest time because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to manage 2 blogs, or if I really wanted to share all this. But I finally decided to write in November, after several more nudges from the Lord and a realization that I wanted to share far and wide my walk in faith.

Last January, I had no clue what I wanted to do post-Peace Corps, and I named my blog “Growing in Faith” because I was committed to trusting in the Lord and listening to His plans for my future. A year later, I am in awe at the way the Lord chooses to affirm my plans and my passions. You see, a year ago, I wasn’t into gardening or permaculture at all. I thought having a garden would be cool, but I hadn’t found the passion. I didn’t know how my desire to live sustainability and be a steward of the Earth could be the work of my Peace Corps service and the key to my future career. Yet I chose that name, based on the verse Matthew 17:20, “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.’”

I had no idea how important growing, seeds, gardening, and permaculture would be in my life. I just stumbled upon the title of this blog and it felt right. Looking back, I know God knew I would have questions and doubts about his plans, and He gave me this blog title as affirmation. Words have power, and they can have many different meanings and nuances. Growing in Faith is a blog about my journey in trusting where the Lord leads, but it is so much more. Planting seeds, harvesting a crop, growth….it relates to the work I am doing and my journey with the Lord. These analogies are sprinkled throughout Scripture, and I believe God wants me to care for His Earth and for His people.

“…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” My God-sized dream, the dream He has given me, is scary and big and seems utterly impossible. How can a young woman burdened by student loan debt start a ministry through gardening in the Third World? Through time, trust, and the Lord. I still am scared of this dream, and scratch my head in wonder of how it might come about. But I’m trusting, and I know that someday when I doubt, the Lord will send affirmation again. If I keep my eyes and heart open, I can see the signs.
-Jen

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